Matthew 19;3-11 (KJV)
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
Matthew 5;31-32 (KJV)
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Romans 7;1-3 (KJV)
Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
1 John 1;5-10 (KJV)
This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
***ATTEMPTS WERE MADE TO INCLUDE MY EX-WIFE, YET NO RESPONSE GIVEN. I PROCEED UNDER GUIDANCE AND GRACE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT***
"I just need to be by myself to figure out if I am to be married."
"The last thing a married woman needs to do is play single, to figure out if she needs to be married. Now, if you need some space and time I can find something to do on the weekends, and after work to give you alone time. I will sleep on the couch at night. But, you should not leave this house."
"No, I have to leave. I don't want to be married anymore."
Within a two week time span, we had separated the bank account, cell phone plans. I took her off the insurance, and she paid the rent for April. Moved out, her and my step-son. Came back in June to retrieve a few more items that she desired, and then spoke to me more than in the last two months.
"I knew you didn't love me. ------ (name not important) told me how you had been try ing to screw her ever since she moved here."
I was so stunned at the accusation/statement that I couldn't do anything but giggle, "And you believe that?"
The answer was her walking away from our apartment on that day, and ultimately our marriage. The divorce/annulment was finalized July 2010. The marriage of Us Two lived from July 2006-July 2010.
Christ's words to the Pharisees was that no MAN should be able to rip apart what God had brought together. Now, before we get into the whole 'retreat back to my own corner' positions, let's just state for the obvious. Yes, back in Biblical days all men had all power, so women didn't have a say in any of the writings of the laws, or the daily decision making process. But, in today's society women are seen, if not already widely acknowledged, as equals to men. Fair statement?
So then, it can be said that a WOMAN is to not try and rip up what God has put together as well.
Why was it so necessary for Moses to give this witing of divorcement to the people? Why does the writing continue to be acknowledged? And, why do we, those who understand that God doesn't desire divorce (nor does HE like it), continue to allow it to be an option within the framework of our lives? These questions are serious. They are meant to spark the inward assessment of why we, yes I am included, had to allow for divorce/separation to be an option. Propelling us to have to seek forgiveness of God through Christ Jesus for the weakness we showed.
Today's encouragement is not for the faint of heart. I still remember, though healed of it, how I felt helpless at her expression of hurt, anger, and shame. How I knew my actions (which came from pride) were the assistant to the enemy and his plan to destroy. For when this person (who will not be named) did arrive in Los Angeles, my whole intention was to "show" the aspect of family in the way I was raised. But, not everybody is raised in the Stokes family... Anyway, my attempt to override my then fiancee's request is what gave birth to the lie. Her request was simple, and as I learned afterwards from my mother, "It ain't for you to understand. It is just for you to perform. Comphehension is not a requirement for compliance."
All my future wife asked of me was, "Do not be around her when I'm not around her."
Seriously, all I heard her say was, "Here is the chance, for you, to show me that I can trust you."
Of course, the enemy (the devil) had a field day with this one prideful thought of this man. And then when I finally realized that I needed to stop trying to do it all my way, that was more than likely when she made the mental exit. Do you know that most women leave a relationship mentally before they actually physically step away? Oh, these are some cold pieces of work, when the devil gets to dance with them...
After my ex-wife left our home, I made all the necessary attempts to let her know that I wanted our marriage, yet I DID let her know that I would not be the spinless pool of indifference that would allow her walk all over me with coming back and forth, running in and out whenever she wanted. I asked that she give me the key to the apt and garage door clicker. "I do not want you to leave this home, but if you say you are going to go. Then, you ARE going to go."
Was that wrong? Was that harsh? Probably, but that is what felt I had to do to protect my feelings and shame. But, I didn't cut off communications. I let her know I was present, ready to talk about it, maybe even work it out. Go to marriage counseling. Even told her, whenever we did sit together, that she was welcomed to come back and that I would never speak of the split. I also let her know that I wouldn't file for divorce. Again, I expressed that I would not seek to end the marriage. Yup, she filed the paperwork, had me served, and yes, I complied. Didn't hold up proceedings. Didn't contest anything. Didn't try. Again, I did not try.
Do you all see where this marriage, as brief as it was and as brief as this account was, fell off track? Neither one of us, for whatever reasons we had, took our hands off of it. We, yes my ex-wife and I, did exactly what Christ Jesus said we were not to do. We tore what God brought together asunder. We ripped it all apart. She had her hands on it, and I never took my hands off. This is the reason why Moses gave the people the writing in the first place. None of them cared or made a choice to release control. And remember, this was just the men back then. Kinda makes you string together a few thoughts based on some modern day data. Today's divorce rate, in America, is right around the 50% line. That means about one in every two marriages are ending in divorce. Honestly, do you think that all those that do go to divorce are because the men seek it? C'mon women, you wanted to be seen as equals. Come and own half of this fact too.
What I am getting at is that in today's time, just as back then, when given the control, we humans are only going to deal with it until we figure we can't deal any longer. Now, what God says is that there is no way I will ever stop figuring out how to continue. That is why it is said, "what God has joined together, let no man put asunder". That is why we have Christ Jesus. Christ told his disciples that he knew man would have an issue with that. Did not my marriage have issues? Yes it did. Could we have gotten past them? Sure we COULD HAVE, if we would have rested in Christ's power of redemption, but we made the choice to put asunder. This is why what is said in 1 John is so important. We have to ask for forgiveness, and believe that we are forgiven. For more importantly than the hiccup of not being able to substain this earthly marriage, God desires that we not break the bonds of our spiritual marriage to Christ. Yes, just as Paul wrote in Ephesians, I am speaking of Christ and the church. Our necessary placement within the body of Christ outweighs the small misstep of not being able to stay together. That is if we believe we have been forgiven. If we do not believe we are forgiven, then we stay within the sin; because of the mindset that accompanies the offense.
Brothers and Sisters, once again, this week's presentations of encouragement were all to get us back within the mind set of seeking, depending, and resting on Christ Jesus. Today's is no different. Do I know if my ex-wife shares this present place with me: to know that Christ Jesus can heal, and instruct us to move forward to accomplish God's will for our lives? Prayerfully I hope she does. But, what I have to do, ultimately, is not worry about it and pray for her. Because all that matters, above all of this, is that we not stop serving Christ, rejoice in his Grace and Mercy, and celebrate, togethe in heaven, to our Lord's Glory and Righteousness.
Holla,
Yer Brova Catalyst
No comments:
Post a Comment