Ruth 1;11-16 (KJV)
And Naomi said, Turn again, my daughters: why will ye go with me? are there yet any more sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?
Turn again, my daughters, go your way; for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say, I have hope, if I should have a husband also tonight, and should also bear sons;
Would ye tarry for them til they were grown? would ye stay for them from having husbands? nay, my daughters; for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord is gone out against me.
And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth cleaved unto her.
And she said, Behold, thy sister in law is gone back unto her people, and unto her gods: return thou after thy sister in law.
And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
Good Morning everyone. Again, I thank you for continuing on the "Relationship Week" portion of the Fellowship. Today's encouragement is for my Sistahs. I am sure the Brothers can benefit as well. The title includes the question, and I asked because there is an important equivilant between Ruth and most young women of today. This is the place I believe we, together, must examine and maybe some change may come up out of it. Okay? Alright... Let's get to it.
Sistahs, are you at the point now where you must decide? Decide between continuing forward in the pursuit of increased knowledge concerning your career, or standing still with the skills you have? Maybe you are having to decide between taking a leave of absence to get your baby through the first weeks of kindergarden, or buckling down at your job in order to secure this promotion you know to be your's? Could it be that you are tettering on that questionable time in life where it's either have a baby now, or resign to be the best aunt to the nieces and nephews you already have? One last question. Could it be that you are looking at all your girlfriends, in their white dresses, going down the aisle, and asking when your time will come? Or, have you said that being the bride's maid or invited guest is okay because you don't need a man at this time? Do you go home and cry in your pillow, in the dark, listening to Sade, wrapped in a shawl, sippin' wine?... That last one was a joke. C'mon!!!! It ain't that bad, is it?
All those questions were asked because of the statement that a close, personal friend of mine made when I sought her out for a few pointers on today's encouragement. She stated that, "No. I do not desire to be 'The Girlfriend' for the rest of my life."
So, if that is the case, and if this is your statement of position today sistah, what are you doing to change it? Like Ruth, you have to see that going back cannot be the option. Okay, let's examine a little bit of your mode of operation.
***I am not a woman. I know this. So, if you see that I have made a statement you do not agree with, COMMENT!!!! I am not above correction***
Intelligence level: Stupid is, as stupid does. Do you understand that sayin'? No? Then, unfortunately boo-boo, it's you. Let me help any woman that is still under the impression that a 'Grown Man' wants a stupid woman. WE DON'T!!! Ain't nothing beautiful about stupid. In this day and age that we live in, a woman with intelligence is pretty much essential to the life of a man. Simple thing to understand, right? Then answer me this: Why are you dealing with men that cause you to have to dumb yourselves down? Answer that one.
There is nothing more pathetic than a woman, of obivious intelligence, having to "play" stupid in order to maintain a relationship that probably wasn't meant for her anyway. You know he ain't your husband. You saw that when he came to you asking you how to fill out the bank deposit form. You the one that got him the bank account in the first place. Understand sistah? Okay, moving forward.
Style of Dress: First thing said, "All women do not step out the house, dressed the way they are, seeking a man's approval." My mother taught me that, and added that most of the time you ladies are actually dressing for other women. Something about knowing other women are looking at the 'fashion' of the outfit. Anyway, the sistah I am directing this portion to is the one that still believes (and yes, I think she believes this) that being mistaken for a hookah [hook-kah'] is a compliment. Seriously!!!! And please don't be over 30 with that mindset. Honestly, in a way, I do.not blame this sistah as much as I blame the other sistahs that let her keep going. Again, back to the scriptures. If you study this part of the Bible, you will see that Ruth received the exact type of teachings needed from Naomi. Why won't y'all teach your sistah? Real question, answer it for me.
And, since we on this side of your interactions with each other, I have another statement that I make seeking comment on. Why do you women continue in the brutal cycle of keeping up this constant snippyness with one another? I have told my female friend that I do not believe women, in general, all hate on each other. What I do believe is that the story of this 'cattiness' has been handed down for so long, from Mother to Daughter, that it is the thing to be on the look out for whenever y'all get around each other. Get what I mean? Do you?...
Ho-ish Behavior: Very simple section, for we all know you. You are easy to target, spot, knock off, or get at. Whichever suits the reader. What I have to say is this, "Hear me good if you are exhibiting hoe like behavior. YOU WILL NOT BE A WIFE.... EVER!!!! IT IS THE SERIOUS MINDSET OF US GROWN MEN THAT A....HOE.....IS NOT.....A....HOUSEWIFE!!!!!" Hate it if you want to, it is what is. Besides, I know y'all know this. Please stop layin' with every dude who tells you that you are cute, or gorgeous, or hot, or sexy, or bangin', or you know what he said last night at the club. Oh Yeah!!! Stay out the club all the damn time!!!! We men have an internal rule about the club. "I am not going to be the 40-50 year old dude in the club, with the deacon suit and deacon hat on, strollin', with the small glass of brown liquor in hand, tryin' hard not to go home alone." NOPE, AIN'T GONNA BE ME!!!! Same for you ladies. Please don't allow your whoredome to continue so that you become the oh so obvious fake wig, dress too tight, way too tight mama, seriously too much make up, you look real desparate tonight, sippin' your strawberry daquari, smilin' at every one that passes by, old chick. That is so not the business, as the kids say. Don't become the thirsty lady.
Another side of this is the hoe bestfriend. Let's teach this woman, ladies, to stop with her hoish self. She is going to be the girlfriend you have who will constantly have you wondering. Now, I can say I have seen one, but never experienced one. My close female friend informed me that these hookahs are, in a way, necessary to the REAL WOMAN in that this particular friend will alert you to all the men that you are to not speak to or give interest to. HAHAHAHAHA.... She stated, "The hoe is good for something." LOL You silly for that one.
Wife: Finally, we get to the place you probably are anyway. Here it is. You have waded through all the muck and mire to get to this place, and found that there is a difficulty here as well. Okay, what is the difficulty? Could it be that your eyesight is still on the dude that you wanted? That dude that is still in the club? Perhaps you think there can be a 'good man' that will want to wife a hoe? Ummmmmm...... NO. Still, you maintain the appropiate dress code that is sure to attract every Tom, Harry, and Dick. Yes, I do think you think of those names, in that order. What is the hiccup? Well, like I said in the beginning, I am not a woman. So I do not claim to hold the answers. But, I did do the thing most men won't do. I asked a bunch of women I trust. So here are a few of their answers.
A woman MUST prepare to be a wife. There are basic things she has to be able to do, even before her husband is brought to her.
A wife knows who she is. She WILL NOT go chasing after her husband. She has duties she has to accomplish.
Be friendly, yet not too friendly (if you know what I mean). A snared up face is unattractive. Yes, we women have hard days, but you never know where your husband will be.
Stop complaining all the time. And, do not accept nothing but the best, from yourself and the man you are with. If he is your husband, he will see your words as encouragement.
Let it happen. God is in control.
And my favorite,.... A wife is just that. A wife! She is not just a cook, or a bedroom playmate, or the accountant, or assistant principal to the kids. She is everything, EVERY THANG, to her husband. HER HUSBAND!!! Not every man that she comes across. She sees exactly who she is in conjunction to the man that is in front of her. If he cannot deal with her heights, then he ain't her husband. If she feels beneath him, that ain't her husband. The wife can see equality in the heart, mind, soul, and spirit of her husband.
Read the experience of Ruth, and my Siszas understand that this is your time to make the decision to move forward into that place you were always meant to be. Do not allow the enemy to stifle you, impede your progress, or cover your eyes with doubt. We are discussing relationships, but you know as well as I do that this is about your life, and life eternal. If securing the title 'Wife' is there, it IS there yet do not sell yourselves short to think that you can only have a low level of it. That is a lie from the pit of hell and I rebuke it in the name of Jesus Christ. You, my Sisza, are meant for God's best. So, do what is necessary to be God's best and you will receive nothing less than God's best.
I want to thank the women that gave me good advice, even if they didn't know I was writing it down: Barbara Hammond (my Mama), Tiffany Thomas (TT in da house), Catina Smith (Tinalicious), Georgette Holmes (Da Lil' Sisza), Amanda Ahmed (Silky Ma-Ray), Juliana Peterson (JuJu Redbone), and without a doubt LaKeisha Clark (East of the 110). I thank all you ladies for giving me advice, glimpses, thoughts, and encouragement to see that when a woman embarks on the journey to be a Wife she will accomplish all that God says a Wife should accomplish.
Special acknowledgement to my Pastor's wife, First Lady P. Bunny Wison. She, through inspiration and submission to God, created SWAT/SSLK. I suggest that if you are a woman and desire to have a deeper walk with Christ Jesus, and secure the necessary tools to obtain the title 'Wife', you may want to look into connecting with her and the staff of New Dawn Christian Village. Web site is www.ndcv.org
Holla,
Yer Brova Catalyst
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