Proverbs 4;1-4 (KJV)
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law.
For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother.
He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.
Today's encouragement will be brief. The last two presentations were to get you to the understanding of who you are (in this matter of relationship), and who you seem to prefer. Now, we are going to take a look at how you have operated (dated or completely jumped into relationship). The reason I say this will be brief is due to the fact that dating is a practice not engaged in within Biblical days. Back then marriages were arranged by families, and the men and women, oftims, didn't get the opportunity to learn one another.
**Puts another spin on that 'A man that findeth a wife' Proverb. Huh?**
I lead in with my Brothers, and myself, concerning the process by which we "choose" to date. Yes. It is a choice. I look at how I am NOT active in the process. The process of dating. That is a choice. Fellas, if we meet a young lady and find her to be interesting, do we not "choose" to continue to find out about her. If we really get truthful about it, we can "choose" to confine her to the 'Only a Lay' section of our process. Oops!! Did I say something I wasn't suppose to? I mean we are here, again, to get som kind of handle on this thing we term "Relationship", right? Let's not forget about that small little tactic we all(men and women) employ called, 'game'. I had to throw that in right there, while speaking to my Brothers because Tupac DID say it right. Since we all came frome a woman/got our name from a woman/and our game from a woman.... Bruh, did you know that half the time, if not more, the young lady already knew you put her in that section? Did you also know that she let you think you were putting her in that section? She had already placed you in that section first. This why the word of God is so important. Go with me back to Proverbs.
Proverbs 6;23-26 (KJV)
For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Wow! Hard description, but necessary for us men to see. This type of woman, in today's time, we run into more often then we think. This is the woman that you think you 'gamin', but you were 'gamed up' before you open your mouth. She is simple to spot. Easy to pick out of the club crowd. I am taking it here because Brothers we desperately have to remove this type of eyesight from our view. If we continue to seek to "choose" to date this type of young woman, who will ONLY be placed in the 'Only a Lay' section of our brains, then this is the type of woman young ladies will ONLY subscribe to become. Its the exact cruel cycle our younger Brothers are perpetuating right now. With the whole, "I wanna be seen as a thuggish, uneducated, weed smoking, ignorant, whatever". So that is the representation we, and the little Sisters, see everyday. Now the little Sister, because she desires a boy friend, is trying her best to pick THE BEST ONE from this barrel full of rotten apples. Does it make sense?
It is time to "choose" to date with some Wisdom and Knowledge attached to ourselves. Of course, I do not have all those answers, but you can find them in the Bible. I can offer what is, and has been, working for me. Not assuming you are me, but maybe this can be remolded to fit you.
1. No latenight conversations, phone calls, text messaging, or emailing unless you have established that there is some sort of seriousness to your relationship. You must take the lead on this point.
2. If dating, do not allow the woman to know where you live or come to your place for at least 90 consecutive days. Trust fellas, this as much for your protection as it is to give the woman a sense of security with you
3. Absolutely, in no way, are you to have sex or put yourself in the compromising situation where sex will happen. Now, I know we all grown here and there are some who will giggle but, once again, trust what I am saying.
My Brothers, hopefully, prayerfully, this will assist and encourage you as you seek to move in a new manner within the dating world, and that new relationship. Also, I invite those of you (men and women) who read today's encouragement to add to this discussion. Remember it is fellowship, and without interaction, you will be the only fellow in the ship.
Sisters, we will meet tomorrow and discuss some of what you may be dealing with within this area as well.
Holla,
Yer Brova Catalyst
2 comments:
So, on rule number 2, the 90 days consecutive thing, does it count if its non-consecutive? LOL, just kidding. This is a good post. I am all for a chaperone!
A chaperone is what would be most adventageous, but in most dating situations, today, people do not know how to operate with one around. Not that they couldn't, it is just that I think we have gotten so used to being able to "play" under the cloak of night that to have the guidance would cause a fakeness to come.
Just my view on chaperones.
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